a first class luddite

 

Berwick upon Tweed

An open ticket office. I could have interfaced with a faceless machine at Alnmouth. Instead, I talked with a real person who found the best deal to Edinburgh and back. Avoiding the minefield of online obfuscation, there was added value in meeting someone clearly enjoying their job, eager to help. I was easily sold a First Class supplement for the return leg, at minimal cost, such that I felt guilty to accept the complementary food and drinks. This was assuaged by the lack of time to enjoy the full three course meal.

On the way back, the “clickety clack” came not from the track, but from the laptop PCs of those working on the train. Edinburgh to London in four hours I believe. Seventeen years after leaving work, I felt sad for those who still had to engage in corporate claptrap, judging from overheard phone conversations or from glances at the screens between gaps in the seats. I understood not a word.

A heritage railway near home recreates three classes of carriage, but mostly runs only First and Third. The experience of both trains prompted thoughts of the English class system. English, because class is less of an issue in the zeitgeist of the other nations. I wondered if Marx’s concepts of the Bourgeoisie versus the Proletariat still applied today. I noticed how the more “entitled” passengers interacted with the staff, if at all. I made a point of chatting with the train crew, who either relished some banter or just humoured an old “anorak”. In either case, their hospitality felt more honed in First, but hope that’s a fallacy.

When asking students to define “class”, I used to jokingly retort “you either have it or you don’t”. But maybe I unwittingly had a point. In these postmodern post-pandemic times, there seems to be a clear demarcation between those who are self-obsessed and those more communally minded. I may be being unfair. Many may just resort to self-preservation in the face of ongoing world events. Nihilism, ennui and misanthropy rule.

Today's marketing blurb would have you believe that contactless “service” is in the interest of efficiency and customer satisfaction. Not this customer. Ponder the following, which foretell a dystopian future of private, unengaged entitlement and the evaporation of any sense of community. “On a Brov holiday, you have the whole place to yourself. Just you and yours”. “Accommodation with no hosts”. 

I read about an incident in East Asia, where customers sued because their privacy was invaded by local people walking a path past their accommodation to visit a temple. You couldn’t make this up, and I didn’t. I recently stayed in accommodation with no visible host, who was so “hands off” that getting even a minor issue sorted was impossible.

 You can “self check in” at minimally serviced hotels and airports, and “self check out” at shops. Allegedly all this has the “advantage” of not having to interact with staff. “Contactless” has more than one meaning. The supposed convenience of bypassing queues, or keyless entry, “streamline” the customer experience. Sorry, I don't want to be streamlined. The rationale of greater privacy and hygiene seems to have developed from the impact of the recent plague and its related lockdown. But perhaps the real advantages are for the faceless corporations: easier ways of selling upgrades, amenities, extras; all at the click of a button. And reducing staff. 

Alnmouth brought back an era I thought had been lost forever. It gave me hope that a simpler, more human way of doing business still exists. The travel, retail and hospitality industries are missing a trick.

LINKS

https://www.theguardian.com/inequality/2017/sep/11/segregation-or-acceptable-luxury-should-first-class-train-travel-be-abolished
https://www.theguardian.com/uk-news/shortcuts/2019/apr/03/how-to-blag-your-way-into-first-class-with-a-standard-train-ticket
How Hotel Self Check-In Software Transforms Guest Experience - Chekin
Alnmouth, Alnwick, United Kingdom - Reviews, Ratings, Tips and Why You Should Go – Wanderlog
20 of the most ridiculous complaints made by holidaymakers - Greece Message Board - Tripadvisor
on a slow train